I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
