i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Randomize
