if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
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They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
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And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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