So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
