New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Randomize
