Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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