No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Randomize
