I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
