note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Randomize