All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
