party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
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he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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