Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
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