she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize