watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
