I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
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