found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
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