Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Randomize
