mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
