I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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