she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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