you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
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