Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
We don't watch enough power rangers
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Randomize
