a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
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