wanna go halves on a baby?
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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