Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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