Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Randomize
