I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
He keeps bees of course he's weird
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
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