Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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