I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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