why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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