Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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