Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
