My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
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