My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
