So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
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