none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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