i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
