sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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