What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
