Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
