So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
