i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
This baby is an asshole
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
there is puke in my bra ... again
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
