at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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