What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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