my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
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