he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize