bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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