FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Randomize
