She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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