Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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