we have officially lost it.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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