Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
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