hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
