You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone shattered a urinal.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize