Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
