I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize