The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
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