i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
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