Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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